


Two coffins [for sleep]

by tothetrashwhereibelong



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Family Feels, Gen, Grieving and Mourning, Hurt No Comfort, Raphael Santiago Deserves Nice Things, Songfic of sorts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23774662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tothetrashwhereibelong/pseuds/tothetrashwhereibelong
Summary: It's the day of Rosa's burial, and Raphael is also in a casket.
Relationships: Raphael Santiago & Rosa Santiago
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10
Collections: Pls kill me





	Two coffins [for sleep]

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song "two coffins", by against me!, a band you should totally check out by the way. I was listening to it while writing something else and it inspired me

The sun is starting to shine through the door, and Raphael can’t see it, because he’s in his casket. 

It’s the most cruel part - the sun is shining, right there, just out of his reach, bright and beautiful and filled with happiness, and he’s in a casket. 

Rosa’s also in a casket. 

She’s being buried today, and he can’t go, because the sun is shining, bright and unrelenting, and he’s stuck in his own casket. It clicks when he closes it, and he feels locked in, trapped, stuck. 

There’s six feet of dirt over her, and he’s suffocating. Drowning, buried, dead, decaying, rotting away. In his casket. 

He wonders what her face looks like. It was already so pale, from so much time away from the sun. Is it fitting? Is she mirroring him? Did he condemn her, even as he didn’t mean to, with his inability to stay _away_ , leave her alone like he was supposed to, stop checking in on her, to see the way she cried, mourned him, prayed, moved on, remembered, forgot? 

She forgot so many things, but she didn’t forget him. She remembered him, and the stars. They were tied to each other, and he couldn’t let her go.

Her body is slowly decaying, and he is crumbling, falling apart, fast and rotten like an infected wound tearing him in half. He’s going faster than her, more painfully, screaming, crying, and there’s nothing left of him. The walls of the casket feel more real than his own body. But he doesn’t sleep, doesn’t dissociate, he keeps breathing the air he doesn’t need, feeling the walls, of his casket, and he hopes hers is filled with roses, that it’s beautiful and comfortable and real, more real than he could be, even hope to be. The world is full and bright, and he can’t touch it. He is the nothing, the unreachable, the forgotten.

She’s dead, and he’s deader. 

_Two coffins for sleep,  
One for you, one for me  
We'll get there eventually  
In the dark of our graves our bodies will decay  
I wish you'd never change_

_How lucky, I ever was to see,  
The way that you smile at me,  
Your little moon face shining bright at me  
One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me_

_Two coffins for sleep  
Two coffins for sleep_

_All the things that I have yet to lose  
Will some day be gone soon,  
Back into annihilation_

_All things will fade,  
Maybe it's better off that way  
I wish you'd stay with me_

_How lucky I ever was to see,  
The way that you smile at me,  
Your little moon face shining bright at me  
One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me_

_Two coffins for sleep  
Two coffins for sleep_

_How lucky I ever was to see,  
The way that you smile at me,  
Your little moon face shining bright at me  
One day soon there'll be nothing left of you and me_

_Two coffins for sleep  
Two coffins for sleep_

**Author's Note:**

> apparently today is a having feels about rosa and raphael kind of day. I wrote this really quickly in a fit of inspiration so uh, hope you enjoyed it. comments are appreciated


End file.
